My Life in Bullet Points

I am fifteen weeks pregnant now but it's very weird. I haven't been nauseous this pregnancy (despite quite bad illness with Cass and moderate with Eli), and so far have no symptoms besides the fact that I am slowly getting chubbier. I don't feel any movement yet, but apparently that could be the fact that we suspect my placenta is anterior. (I had posterior placenta's both other times and movement at 14 weeks).

Actually I was wrong- I have one new symptom- breast-feeding aversion. Feeding Eli is now painful and yick-feeling. I was half convinced to wean him, getting visions of a simple feeding relationship with just me and the new bub, but after reading through some of my old books I am reconfirmed in my desire to give Eli access to milk at least into his third year. (I am philosophically in favour of child-led weaning, in the same way that I am philosophically against eating animals until about once every year or so when I convince myself that as long as this particular chicken in front of me has already snuffed it, surely there's no harm in chewing on it a bit?)

My car was rear-ended last week.

On Tuesday I was sitting stationary in traffic with my indicator on waiting to turn right into the street we live on. I saw a four-wheel-drive approaching at full speed in my rear-view mirror that was not slowing down and I just had time to scream and turn my head around to see my kids.

The car hit us at full speed and sent us 10m down the road. Our car will probably be written off. The damage is crazy. The insurance guy was at our house today looking at the car and was implying that I was lying to him about some damage to get more money from the insurance company. The back of the car is ruined (as you would expect), but he was telling me that there shouldn't be any damage under the hood because it was a rear collision. I explained how hard we were hit and said that the engine/radiator etc were not actually broken (I think), but they had been shaken out of place- it's a mess under there. The seats inside the car are broken too. We were hit so hard that things were dislodged all over the place.

I can't believe how bad our car is, and both of my children (who were in the back when we were hit and we have a very small boot on the car) are totally fine praise God! I have minor whiplash and some bruises, but I don't even need physio. We are just thanking God so much. I was really shook up emotionally at first but now I am just so so grateful.

We have found a midwife for our home-birth with this baby, despite legislation changes between Eli's birth and this pregnancy rendering home-birth a whole lot less accessible. Eli's midwife has been recently blessed with another child of her own and is on maternity leave, so I began hunting the second I knew I was pregnant.

We have purchased our first home and are moving in less than 3 weeks.

My feelings about this go as follows:

- Extreme gratefulness to God who has had His hands on the whole process and is looking after us incredibly.

- I can't wait to get out of this ant-infested, mould-infested house that makes us all sick (the mould that is) so often.

-PAPERWORK!!!! (Yes, paperwork is a feeling.)

- I am sad that I am leaving this place where I first became a mother. Where I then discovered God's purpose for my motherhood, and where I also birthed my beautiful son into the world. I am sad to leave Eli's birth space.

- Now that we are not renters we get to be treated by Real Estate agents like ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS. It's quite incredible.

- Fairly apprehensive about living further away from my family and friends (about one hour away) and also about making new friends and finding a new church home.

- Also apprehensive about living far from my mum with 3 small children of an age that will probably/sometimes/often cry at me simultaneously.

- Glad that my midwife lives within 15 minutes of our new home, so we can (hopefully) avoid further birth trauma for Stephen, as her chances of missing the birth (as did happen with Eli) are much slimmer.

I have also begun many projects that I want to finish before the baby arrives. I've finished 2/3rds of a knitted baby blanket (in bright green and teal merino) and am almost done piecing together a patchwork quilt for my own bed in time for summer.


So there we are. Could I be busier? I am tempted to say 'NO', but last week's car crash (and the resulting PAPERWORK and leg-work) has taught me a thing or two.